Let’s create identity statements with our language. Our language determines our identity. If you want to give up eating sugar and you say:
I’m trying not to eat sugar.
I’m not eating sugar at the moment.
I haven’t eaten sugar for 6 months.
These statements are not the most powerful language. They are very weak. We need to learn how to change these statements into powerful formats.
So, if you are trying to give up eating sugar, what is the most powerful statement you could make? How can you say in the most effective way to affect your beliefs and therefore affect your behaviour?
Eating sugar is just an example, but you can use it for anything in life.
If you haven’t eaten sugar for 3 days. The most powerful identity statement is:
I don’t eat sugar.
If you want to trick your brain so that you have a new identity as a person who doesn’t eat sugar, the best identity statement is…
I don’t eat sugar.
Use your language very wisely. It’s a lot more powerful than we think!
TIP3: USE MODAL VERBS OF POSSIBILITY INSTEAD OF MODAL VERBS OF NECESSITY
Write out your inner talk exactly as you hear/see them. It is essential that you keep the syntax as is. Then check what modal operators you use in your internal talk.
If in your self-talk you use modal verbs of necessity such as need, must, should, and ought and their negative forms) like:
I need to do this.
I must learn.
They should behave appropriately.
You ought to think this.
Using these modal verbs of necessity shows that you follow the rules set by someone else and feel required to do it. In other words, what you are doing is not a choice for you but a displeasing task. You are passive, and the external environment dictates the action.
However, using modal verbs of possibility stated positively supports positive inner talk and opens choices.
I can do it.
I could try it.
I know I will be able to pass this exam.
But in negative forms, the modal verbs of possibility restrict and limit choices.
I can’t do this.
So, changing the syntax of how you talk to yourself will make a difference in the result and emotions.